It all adds up to a feeling of attraction. Their is also the charisma factor that some people have. There are of course some chemical factors but most people focus on visual characteristics. Though there are many common factors, sexual attraction is unique to individuals. We pretty much think "Man, I would like to put my penis in that." And men know when they find a woman attractive. Men, by comparison, focus on a narrower set of characteristics. They simply find skinny metrosexuals attractive, as one example. That is why you see hot women with goofy looking guys. Even over cultural boundaries, for example, women have more variability in what they find physically attractive in men. Not the sole defining attribute, but certainly an important one.Īlso men and women behave different ways, even after cultural differences are factored out. For most people the sexual drive is a cornerstone of their personality. I am a level-headed person most of the time, except when the ladies and the occasional guy pops up. An asexual person simply will not understand such a level of obsession, which can only be fueled by both biological and psychological needs. Take a look at the case of the NASA astrounaut who drove hours wearing a diaper to confront her man. Geniuses who are cold and calulating in their normal lives suddenly act like horny teenagers when someone they are attracted to shows up or rejects them. Sexual desire easily overrides other drives. I agree that good romance novels are a better resource.
Pornography itself, in my opinion, is not a god resource because it focuses on visually aiding male satisfaction (most of the time) and as such is devoid of any other meaning. That's why, regardless of whether one had sex yet or not, a writer should draw on their own experience. Psychologically speaking, one is asexual only if they have no interest in sex whatsoever and do not get aroused. I have mentioned in my comment that experiencing desire and actually having sex are two different things. Hence no suspended disbelief, hence a bad story. You may choose to believe anything you want, but I am pretty sure that anyone who felt sexual attraction will be able to tell if someone who wrote about it hadn't. Same with science fiction and fantasy.Īll I can tell you is that my advice was well meant and realistic. Re dying - nobody who died is able to write about it, so nobody will know what its like hence, nobody will come off looking silly if they get it wrong. May be you can mention how he/she lingered( or wanted to linger) a bit longer when they shake hands.įinally, read some good romance Sex is a basic human need, experienced by pretty much everyone.
Let the character take note of, say, the perfume the object of his/her desire is wearing. Don't just jump into the character's head and list what are the things he/she finds attractive in the other character. Hmmm I should stop before I sound like a pervertįor writing a sexual desire of a character the best way to go is the 'show, don't tell' approach.
If you are sexually attracted to someone even a slightest touch, say a handshake, will trigger many sensations. You feel a bit nervous, may be you also feel afraid, but you don't want to end it, and you day dream about it for days and weeks. The simplest way I can explain the feeling of sexual desire is the feeling you have when you are kissed by someone for the first time. If there is plot/character development involve than you have to include it, of course. Don't worry, I have seen more explicit questions than yours, so I think you are safe
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